The truth.

I’d like to start this belated post with a huge dose of happiness, a sense of wellbeing, the feeling of absolute elation as I look down the barrel of ten months holiday with just a smidge of smugness that it’s all happening. However, this post is not a Facebook update so what I’m actually going to start with is a big fat “Faaaarrrcccckkkk!!!!” as I swill down a glass of wine and sit in the stink of my unwashed self. Getting a visual?

Yes, the house WILL be rented on time. Yes, we WILL fit everything necessary into the van. Yes, I WILL have the house cleaned and empty in a week’s time. Yes, my children WILL be ever so helpful and play quietly in a corner with something which creates absolutely no mess or noise.  I do actually believe and feel all of this (except the last thing: that’s for everyone who has ever tried to clean/pack/organise anything with a sense of urgency and 2 small children in a 500m radius- we all need a laugh) will be achieved, but the getting to that point has been pretty ordinary. No one loves moving, but like all necessary evils, it is, well, necessary.

So anyway, we’re still looking for the perfect (read: any) tenant, there are still boxes standing around and everything is pretty filthy. But we did start to throw, and I mean that in the literal sense, gear into the van; the walls and cupboards are beginning to look bare and our wheelie bin has been chockas with crap from The Cleanse every week for the last month. Actually our neighbour’s bin has been pretty full too- thanks Brinkers! So things are moving in the right direction. Except for our bank account.

I watched with interest some Grey Nomads on The Project having a whinge about the demise of free camping spots in Victoria.  Essentially, millions of dollars are spent maintaining these campgrounds each year and the newly elected Napthine Government has sniffed this out. So we’ll probably be paying $19 a night to camp in what was a free site. All other campsite charges are going up a few dollars a night as well, which I didn’t think was such a bad thing since this should pay for the maintenance and perhaps addition of camping facilities. But now, having blown out on a baby hiking carrier, a dual battery pack for our fridge in the car, organisational paraphernalia for inside the van etc etc, those free camping sites are starting to look pretty sweet. So did the cleaners who were going to be doing the final clean of our vacant home… I need to buy some gloves and a mask. Please refer to the categories about being a lazy mole listed in the Cleaning Blinds post.

So while the here and now of our almost nomadic situation feels pretty frustrating, it is also very transient- we won’t be in this packing and cleaning hell for long. Eight days in fact. That is totally doable.

And if you haven’t banged your head on the keyboard yet, comatose from my ‘travel blog’ which has blogged about everything EXCEPT the actual ‘travel’ it was conceived for… tell me, what’s the best thing about Carnarvon Gorge? That’s our first ‘big’ stop, and we plan to be there in the second week of March. Do you have any tips for the Gorge itself or places on the way? After spending the first week of March in Newrybar, Harvest Café at our fingertips, the idea of Central Queensland sounds very exotic... hopefully it will smell nice too.

Or just not like bleach. 

Three weeks to go...

In our house there are 9 sets of Venetian vertical blinds, amounting to 150 separate blades and weights linked together with plastic chain. How do I know this (and why)? Because as part of our departure plan we have to rent out our house and the Powers That Be (Fiela) decided that the deteriorating weights and links must be replaced and the mould stained blades must be cleaned.

This fell under the category of No Problem; sub-category, Get Someone Else To Do It. Easy! Until I managed to get a few quotes and realised it actually fell under the category of That is Toooo Expensive; sub-category, Do It Yourself; Sub-sub-category, Don’t Be A Lazy Mole.

So I spent a day and a half running to and from Bunnings, another day and a half up to my elbows in vinegar and bleach and whilst I was very irritable about this whole process in the beginning, I will admit there is something deeply therapeutic about having blinds clean enough to eat off. Of course, I was probably high on bleach fumes at the time, let’s face it I can’t really smell anything BUT bleach now a few days on. The point is, this blind cleaning frenzy is but one of the many little jobs Fiela and I have been putting off for some time... alright years if truth be told. A bit of paint here, a bit of bleach there and suddenly our house feels clean and fresh and wonderful. Just in time for someone else to rent and appreciate it. WTF?

Why didn’t we just do the jobs when they first appeared to need doing, instead of ignoring them and procrastinating? And this is where we fall into the Horatio or Hamlet category. There are those who just get straight onto it, do the Bunnings run and feel supremely satisfied but also bloody tired at the end of every Saturday. Then there are the others who procrastinate, take a quick holiday (maybe to England with pirates?) and then with a rush of blood to the head and a not very well thought out plan, do ALL the jobs, exhaust themselves, have an almost religious experience as they look at all they have accomplished, never to pick up a hammer or paint brush again.

Clearly we are of the latter kind, but I’ve made a little pact with myself to be the former. Let’s face it, with the tiny space we’ll be afforded in the Jayco Swan, procrastinating about even the smallest of chores will no doubt lead to someone having a brain explosion over which are clean and which are dirty clothes, why there pencils all over the floor (a wonderful revelation to have at 2am) and where the hell am I supposed to sit- every available space in this van has been piled up with crap!!!??? As you can guess, brain explosions have already occurred over these exact scenarios.

So who are you: Hamlet or Horatio?

Both approaches have their merits, but I’m definitely going with the just do it approach… until I can’t really be bothered in which case I’ll probably spend a lot of time wondering whether ‘tis nobler to clean or not to clean…

We were at a restaurant with the kids, hurriedly packing up after it had finally all gone pear-shaped when the waiter came up and quipped: " You guys have done well, I don't even take my kids to Bunnings."

Inanimate Attachment

Our Christmas things have been put away and I’ve realized that my “I’m not thinking about packing up the house until the 1^st of January” mandate has officially been adhered to. On time even (something of a rarity in this household as those who know us can irritably attest to)! Not only did I have the usual ‘another year gone’, ‘I wish this ratty bauble would just break!’, ‘can I get poisoning from inhaling tinsel?’ etc etc but also the very real thought our little Christmas tree could finally be put out to pasture and I could splurge on a ‘proper’ (fake- no the irony is not lost on me) one in a few years time when we’re home post-Big Trip. This tree, costing approximately $12 in 2001 from Crazy Clarks, standing 91 cm high, harassed by little people and Christmas decorations  over ten holiday seasons, was finally done. It’s reign (ha ha) was over…. In between thoughts of a two metre plus, spruce green, built in LED light wonder, I also thought about when and where I’d bought that first tree, where we lived, when I first put it up, the changes that had taken place in our family, address and circumstances…

No. This tree could not be put in the Vinnie’s bin.

And so begins what I had secretly feared- an inability to actually get rid of the objects we no longer needed. We haven’t moved for 4 years and I was looking forward to the cleanse of packing up the house and down sizing our mountains of crap. Instead I’m starting to make excuses for all the reasons these things should stay rather than tossing them joyfully into the bin. Of course, I’m also reeling after a pretty big month of Christmas cheer and a fairly epic New Years, so maybe this packers’ remorse is also a tiny bit brewers’ gloom. I need to be focused, ruthless and pragmatic, not sentimental and camembert soft.

Yep. I’ll rethink the Christmas tree thing tomorrow, and of course I still need boxes to pack everything into so that’s at least another week until I really get started. Nothing like a bit of procrastination…

Packing 1

Me 0